THERAPY FOR
Self-Esteem & Toxic Shame
Do you feel like no matter what you do, you’re either too much, or not enough?
Struggles with self-esteem are rarely surface-level. They’re rooted in the deeper layers of how we see ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, and what we believe we’re worth. For many, low self-esteem is tangled with toxic shame—the deeply internalized belief that you are “not enough” or fundamentally flawed.
Low self-esteem and toxic shame don’t come out of nowhere. They often grow out of years of criticism, comparison, trauma, or environments where your needs and voice weren’t valued. Over time, this can plant an inner critic that feels relentless, leaving you not only unworthy or disconnected from yourself, but also ashamed of who you are at your core.
Signs you may be struggling with self-esteem or toxic shame include:
- Constant self-criticism or negative self-talk
- Difficulty accepting compliments or good feedback
- Feeling like a failure, even when you achieve things
- Over-apologizing or people-pleasing to avoid rejection
- Comparing yourself harshly to others
- Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes
- Avoiding opportunities because you “aren’t good enough”
- Struggling to set boundaries or ask for what you need
Why Self-Esteem Feels So Fragile
Self-esteem is not just an “individual issue.” It’s shaped by the environments we grow up in and the systems we live in. When your early experiences included trauma, neglect, criticism, impossible expectations—or were marked by shame and humiliation—it makes sense that your sense of worth feels fragile now.
Other contributing factors include:
- Trauma & Attachment Wounds: growing up with emotional neglect, criticism, abuse, or conditional love
- Cultural Messages: living in a world obsessed with productivity, beauty standards, and comparison
- Chronic Stress: never feeling like you can catch up or “do enough”
- Internalized Toxic Shame: believing painful messages about yourself were true and defining yourself by them
HOW THERAPY CAN HELP
Therapy supports you in turning the voice of self-criticism into one of self-compassion.
Therapy is a space to shift from self-criticism and shame into self-compassion and self-worth. Building self-esteem isn’t about inflating your ego—it’s about creating a stable, kind, and realistic relationship with yourself.
Building self-esteem and confidence goes beyond symptom relief—it’s about creating a safe space to explore your story, heal emotional wounds, and work with the inner critic. With the right support, you can move out of survival mode and into a life that feels more grounded, connected, and fulfilling.
In therapy, we will work together to:
- Identify the roots of self-criticism, toxic shame, and the patterns that keep them alive
- Build practices of self-compassion that soften shame and allow growth
- Explore the parts of you that feel they’re “too much” or “not enough” and offer them care
- Strengthen your ability to set boundaries and speak up for your needs
- Reconnect you with your strengths, passions, and authentic self
- Develop tools for navigating comparison, perfectionism, and people-pleasing
HOW WE APPROACH SELF-ESTEEM & TOXIC SHAME
Overcome toxic shame and rebuild self-worth with holistic, trauma-informed therapy.
At Moongate Therapy and Wellness, we take a holistic, trauma-specialized approach that supports the whole person—not just the symptoms of low self-esteem or toxic shame. Together, we’ll explore the roots, often carried from early experiences where your needs for safety, love, or validation were unmet. Therapy creates space to meet those wounded parts of you with compassion, regulate the overwhelming emotions they carry, and begin to separate your identity from shame.
During our work together, we may use a range of modalities, keeping your therapeutic goals and preferences at the forefront. Depending on your unique needs and experiences, together, we’ll draw on methods such as: